Tallie and Allie's Rules of the Universe
by SunlightOnTheWater
Summary: Tallie and Allie are twins separated from birth and raised by two factions on separate sides of a war. Tallie by Jazz and Allie by Soundwave. The following are the rules to surviving their worlds in one piece mostly  and the stories of how some started
1. Tallie and Allie Rules 1 to 10

Author's Note: First this is how this story is going to work. Every other chapter, starting with this one, will be a list, at least ten items long each, for both Talisa (Tallie) and Alessia (Allie). Then the next chapter will be an explanation/story about two of the rules (one from each list). Requests will be taken into consideration. Pictures of Tallie and Allie along with profiles will be on my profile shortly. Comments would be great appreciated and as for how long this is going to be or whether a real story will stem from it I'm not sure. This idea was inspired by _Mieschers_ story A Glitchhead's Guide to Surviving on Earth. Check out that story for some entertainment and laughs. I don't own Transformers or I wouldn't be writing this. Enjoy

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 1:** Don't give the twins ideas

(Either set)

(Retribution will be swift and either from Ratchet or Ironhide)

**Rule 2:** No jumping off anything higher than 3 feet off the ground

(Not my fault)

(Well maybe sort of...)

**Rule 3:** Never ever help hide anyone from Ratchet

(Seriously!)

**Rule 4:** Lying to anyone about anything will get you in major trouble

(But only if you get caught)

(Which I do)

(Frequently)

**Rule 5:** Dying you hair odd colors is not allowed

(Even thought I have purple streaks through mine)

(Jazz freaked when I came home)

**Rule 6:** No using curse words

(Cybertronian or human)

( I serious think that Ironhide and Ratchet considered killing me)

(It wasn't that bad a word...)

**Rule 7:** Rigging the fire alarm to go off every five minutes is not advisable

(I hid for the rest of the day)

(I was tempted to hide longer after that)

(Ratchet was _that_ mad)

**Rule 8:** Punching people is not allowed even if they are associated with 'Cons

(Besides Jazz says if he gets called from school one more time because of behavior he's going to send Ratchet)

(And that would be bad)

(Very bad)

**Rule 9:** Pardon my French does not get you out of trouble for cursing

**Rule 10:** I tripped is no longer a valid excuse in the med bay

(I asked Ratchet what to say if I really tripped then)

(He was NOT amused)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 1:** Don't under any circumstances set up trip wires

(It was funny)

(The Seekers didn't think so though)

(Neither did Barricade)

(There were lots of visits to Hook that day...)

**Rule 2:** No running around singing "I got some ice cream, I got some ice cream and you can't have none cause your dad's on welfare"

(To make a long story short everyone was not amused)

(Excluding me of course)

**Rule 3:** Dumping a gallon of glitter of Starscream while he recharges is not a good idea

(Megatron thought it was amusing)

(Starscream did not)

(I spent the day hiding behind Soundwave in the communications office)

**Rule 4:** Throw and/or shooting the human (me) is not allowed

(This is Megatron's rule, not mine)

(Although I wouldn't advise it)

(Soundwave knows everything!)

**Rule 5:** Do not ask Starscream why he runs away like a little girl during every battle

(Resulting injuries from this question get you sympathy from no one)

(I ended up with a broken arm)

**Rule 6:** Saying Death shall envelope is us all is not as funny as you think

(Skywarp glitched)

(I spent the rest of the day avoiding Thundercracker)

(How was I supposed to know that Skywarps was gonna glitch over that?)

**Rule 7:** Threatening to offline someone is a good way to get laughed at

(For a long time)

(It was rather humiliating)

**Rule 8:** Stay away from rampaging Megatron

(Seriously, even Starscream knows this)

(At least part of the time...)

**Rule 9:** Flattery will get you fried

(Literally)

(It doesn't even work on the stupidest of 'Cons)

**Rule 10:** Skipping school is not allowed

(Once again Soundwave knows everything!)


	2. Explanations 1

_**Tallie's List-Rule 2**_

_No jumping off anything higher than 3 feet off the ground_

Talisa was bored which wasn't exactly a normal state for the seventeen year old. Growing up with giant alien robots as guardians didn't really allow boring to compute but today she was bored. Jazz was gone on a mission with Optimus, Prowl, Sides, Sunny, and Mirage leaving Ratchet to watch Skids, Mudflap, and Tallie. Alone in a large base with nothing to do was seriously testing Tallie's patience. Finally the girl slipped out of the room, down a hall, and outside to be greated by the brilliant sunshine of Diego Garcia. That was when she spotted the tree.

It was perfect for climbing with thick branches spreading out in every which direction creating a wide canopy. Tallie began to climb, enjoying a refreshing breeze that ruffled her hair as she climbed. She settled on one of highest branches and glanced around her at the secenry, content to sit it peace and quiet for a while now that she was outside. Unfortunately her peace was about to be shattered. "Hey Tallie," Mudflap called. "What'cha doin up there?"

"Enjoy the peace and quiet," The girl muttered before yelling," Just sitting."

"Well come down here. Skids and I found somthing you should see," Mudflap replied. Tallie began making her way down the tree only to find she was stuck half way down. "What's wrong?" Mudflap asked when she paused and the girl sighed.

"I'm stuck."

Mudflap gagued the distance between the ground and Tallie and then said, "Jump."

"What?" Tallie asked.

"Jump. It isn't that far." Tallie nodded and jumped, crashing to the ground the somehow managing to twist her ankle. She let out a yelp of pain that made Mudflap jump and wince guiltily. "I'll take you to the med bay," he offered, picking her up. Tallie groaned when she thought of how Ratchet was going to react to this.

The two entered the med bay when Ratchet was working on organizing paperwork, never a good time of the month to interrupt a medic anyway. "What?" he snapped, not turning around.

"Umm Ratchet," Tallie began tenatively. "I sort of twisted my ankle." That got the medic's attention.

"How did you manage that?" he asked, turning around to face the pair.

"I jumped out of a tree," Tallie said flatly.

"You what?"

"Jumped out of a tree," the girl repeated in a quieter voice.

"Why would you do a stupid thing like that?" The medic snapped and Tallie winced.

"Mudflap suggested it," she protested weakly. One of Ratchet's infamous wrenches flew her way and Mudflap ducked, hurrying out of the room with Tallie still on his hand.

"Don't think Jazz isn't going to hear about this," Ratchet called after the pair and Tallie winced. Jazz's homecoming was not going to be as nice a situation now.

_**Allie's List-Rule 2**_

_No running around singing "I got some ice cream, I got some ice cream and you can't have none cause your dad's on welfare"_

Alessia, adopted daughter of Soundwave and one of the most evil humans in the world was hyper. Too much sugar made Allie hyper and to be honest it was kind of scary. Currently she was pacing the halls of the base humming a tune under her breath and trying to get rid of excess energy. Slowly the humming began to evovle into full out singing.

If there was one thing Allie wasn't it was quiet so her voice echoed around the hall. "I got some ice cream! I got some ice cream and you can't have none cause your dad's on welfare!" Round and round the halls she went singing as loud as she could until a rather menacing sight silenced her. Starscream was standing in the middle of the hall with murder in his optics.

Allie wasn't stupid. She turned and fled the other direction only to backtrack when she saw TC standing in another hall. Someone picked her up from behind and she let out a loud yell. "Don't you ever know when to shut up," Soundwave growled, heading back down the hallway he had come from. "No more singing and no more sugar. Understood?"

"But..." Allie began, still to riled up from sugar to think that arguing might be a bad idea.

"_Understood_," Soundwave growled.

"Yes," Allie said meekly. Still when he dropped her in the communications office she started humming again. But softly.


	3. Tallie and Allie Rules 11 to 21

Author's Note: First I want to say thank you to all who added this to their story alerts. Hope you enjoy this chapter! I don't own anything but Allie and Tallie

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 11:** Painting Sunstreaker a different color while he recharges is not good for your health

(He threatened to leave me in a tree somewhere)

(I was Jazz's shadow for the rest of the day)

(Which Ironhide thought was funny)

**Rule 12:** Threatening to tell Annabelle that her invisible friend is a giant robot is a big no-no

(Ironhide tried to blast me)

(I hid from him for about the next week)

(Don't laugh... have you ever been on the wrong side of 'Hide's cannons?)

**Rule 13:** Skipping out on punishment is not advisable

(They send Ratchet after you)

(Or Mirage)

(I'm not sure which is worse, angry medic or 'Bot that can sneak up on you without you knowing)

**Rule 14:** Stealing my phone is not a good idea

(He bites)

(Every time someone comes bitten into the med bay Ratchet says, "This is what happens when people can't control their powers.")

(We get phones that turn into robotic baby alligators and bite people?)

**Rule 15:** Listening to any set of twins tell you something is a good idea is not

(a good idea that is)

**Rule 16:** Paintballs are not allowed on base

(They hurt you idiots!)

**Rule 17:** Do not under any circumstances attempt to skip school

(Let's just say Barricade found me first)

(And then Ironhide showed up)

(And I got yelled at by Ratchet, Prowl,and Jazz later)

**Rule 18:** Singing the song that never ends is not allowed

(Prowl glitched)

(Ratchet threatened to glue me to the wall and duct tape my mouth shut)

**Rule 19:** Do not play with my computer

(I will sic my baby robotic alligator on you)

**Rule 20:** Soccer/baseball/football/ect is to be played outside and with off duty NEST soldiers only

(Attempting to play with robots or inside results in seeing Ratchet)

(Not good)

**Rule 21:** The following are not to be used as climbing devices;

shoe strings

guitar strings

bed sheets

_Allie's List_

**Rule 11: **Taunting Autobots is not healthy

(Sunstreaker attempted to kill me)

(Barricade was not pleased that he had to save me)

**Rule 12:** Attempting to lie to Soundwave results in getting sent to the brig

(And water is leaking from somewhere down there)

(At least I think it's water...)

**Rule 13:** Repeatedly kicking the wall in attempt to calm down annoys Starscream

(I got thrown into a wall)

(So did he)

(Hook was not happy with either of us)

**Rule 14:** Talking to Blitzwing is confusing and not advisable

(He has three personalities for Primus' sake)

**Rule 15:** Teaching the human Cybertronian is not allowed

(Again not my rule... this one is Soundwave's)

(He almost glitched when he heard what Skywarp was attempt to teach me)

**Rule 16:** Never ask Barricade where he was at Mission City

(We now have a human sized hole in the wall)

(Next to it is a 'Cade sized hole in the wall from when Megatron threw him through after me)

**Rule 17:** Humans do not drink energon

(Period.)

(Did you hear me Frenzy?)

**Rule 18:** Spray paint is not allowed on base

(I spray painted the main room and the front door sunshine yellow)

(No one was very happy after the resulting yelling fit from Megatron)

**Rule 19:** Don't mention Optimus Prime

(It gets met with bad results)

(Yet another day spent hiding in the communications room)

**Rule 20:** Don't pet Ravage

(He's not a real cat)

(He doesn't like it)

(I have claw marks to prove it)

**Rule 21:** Running around yelling the British are coming isn't allowed

(Several mechs glitched)

(Soundwave carried me into the communications room by one ankle and locked me in a closet)

(The lecture came later)


	4. Explanations 2

Author's Note: Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave a review if you liked it! I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 17<strong>_

_Do not under any circumstances attempt to skip school_

Tallie had decided she had taken enough crap from Allie this week and she was skipping school. She waited inside the school until Jazz left and then darted off and made her way down the street. She made it an hour without detection but a cop finally found her hanging out at a crumbling overpass in an almost abandoned part of town. Then when she saw the inscription on the side of the mustang her eyes widened. _To punish and enslave_. She screamed as the cop car transformed into Barricade. The screaming would have worked if she was on base but out here in the middle of nowhere it helped no one. Barricade picked her up easily before she could run only to be blasted in the back.

Tallie went tumbling through the air only to be caught by someone and placed on the ground. Jazz transformed, door open for her to climb in. "Get in." Tallie gulped at his tone of voice and did as she was told. They zoomed by Ironhide who was still blasting Barricade and she sat in silence as Jazz ranted about how stupid she'd been. Her fingers clenched around her backpack straps and her jaw was sore from clenching her teeth.

What was only minutes later but felt like hours the door flung open and Tallie slid reluctantly out, knowing she would get the same lecture from at least Ratchet now. She stood there rather dejectedly while Jazz raced off to see if Ironhide needed any help (not likely). "What's wrong?" Will Lennox, commander of the humans at NEST, asked.

"I attempted to skip school and almost got killed by Barricade," Tallie said with a heavy sigh.

Lennox glanced around and then whisper conspiratorially in her ear," I think you're getting away with skipping school."

Tallie giggled until an all too familiar voice from behind her asked, "Just what are you doing back here this early in the day?" Prowl. Tallie let out another heavy sigh and turned around to explain what was going on. This was going to be a very long day.

_**Allie's List-Rule 16**_

_Never ask Barricade where he was at Mission City_

Allie was bored, which was a normal occupation for the seventeen year old. It also meant trouble. When Allie was bored bad things tended to happen. "Hey Barricade," Allie said.

"What?" the mech asked warily. He knew as well as the rest of them that bad things happened when the young human was bored.

"Where were you during Mission City? I mean everyone else talks about it but they always mention that you're never there. What's up with that? Did you glitch or something?" Her rant was cut off by a shriek as she was picked up and promptly thrown through a wall where she landed dazed and groaning on the floor. Moments later there was a massive bang and Barricade came flying through the wall to land next to her. Allie had only one thought circling her brain before she passed out. Hook was not going to be pleased about that.

Just before everything faded to black she heard Barricade snarl, "Slagging human." Then the world went black.


	5. Tallie and Allie Rules 22 to 32

Author's Note: First I want to say a big thank you to _Hittocere_ and a couple of the stories you wanted will be included in the second half of the next chapter. Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 22: **"Badges, badges. We don't need no stinking badges!"

(Galloway was not amused)

(Any quotes from the Treasure of the Sierra Madre is not allowed, neither is the movie)

(Jazz thought it was funny though. So did Ratchet surprisingly)

**Rule 23:** Just Dance is banned

(I didn't break the TV)

(None of the humans did)

(It was Mudflap...)

**Rule 24:** The Day After Tomorrow is also banned

(Skids and Mudflap had nightmares)

(I decided I wanted a dog)

**Rule 25:** The human (me) cannot fly

(Sideswipe this one's for you)

(Ratchet just groaned when we came in)

**Rule 26:** Unauthorized humans are not allowed on base

(I think Sara was traumatized after that)

(She won't talk to me any more)

**Rule 27: **Screaming at four in the morning isn't advisable

(Ratchet gets cranky and Ironhide is trigger happy)

(It wasn't my fault there was a massive spider in my room)

**Rule 28:** Leaving (fill in the blank) in anyone's alt mode is not a good idea

(Whatever it is gets crushed)

**Rule 29: **Annoying Sarah Lennox ends up with baby sitting

(Fortunately Annabelle loves me)

(Unfortunately it involves being around Ironhide)

**Rule 30:** Duct tape doesn't fix everything

(Like broken arms)

(Or severed energon lines)

**Rule 31: **Glow in the dark stickers are banned

(How would I know that Mudflap has a phobia of ghosts?)

**Rule 32: **If in trouble with Sunstreaker compliment his paint job

(Unless said paint job is why you're in trouble in the first place)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 22: **"For what we are about to receive we thank thee oh Lord"

(Decepticons just don't get westerns)

(Or cowboys. Or The Searchers)

(Westerns are now banned from the base)

**Rule 23:** Speed bingo is not as fun as it sounds

(The words B-12 can now cause Blitzwing to glitch)

(Neither Soundwave nor Megatron nor Starscream is amused)

(It's kind of scary when Megatron _and_ Starscream agree)

**Rule 24: ** Crying is not good

(It gets you laughed at)

(Then it makes me want to punch 'em)

**Rule 25:** Disembodied voices get punched

(hard)

(I was gushing blood all over from my broken nose)

(It ruined the effect)

**Rule 26: **Random screaming doesn't help anything

(BWAAAAAH!)

(Soundwave told me to shut up or he'd sic Ravage on me)

(I shut up.)

**Rule 27:** When facing an angry Decepticon back away very slowly before turning to run

(Kind of like an angry Rhino)

(Only ten times more dangerous)

**Rule 28:** Silence is golden but duct tape is a good alternative

(Starscream's idea this time)

(I screamed before he managed to tape my mouth shut)

(Soundwave was amused for once slag it!)

**Rule 29:** Attempting to kidnap humans is not a good idea

(NEST was after me)

(Soundwave was not amused)

(Neither was Tallie for that matter)

**Rule 30:** Never call Tallie a glitching Autobot

(I got punched so hard she broke my nose)

(When someone calls her that she doesn't care if they call Jazz)

**Rule 31:** No playing Darth Vader's march from Star Wars over the sound system at base

(Let's just say there were a lot of 'Cons after me after a couple hours)

**Rule 32:** Playing dumb with Soundwave gets you nowhere

(except the brig)

(or a closet)


	6. Explanations 3

Author's Note: So first off sorry for the long wait between updates but I had problems with the first two of these four stories. The second two are probably the better ones of this set and they are also the requests from _Hittocere_ enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie. Next update should be sooner hopefully!

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 30<strong>_

_Duct tape doesn't fix everything_

Tallie whimpered slightly as she glanced at her arm. It was twisted at an odd angle and pain shot up it every time she tried to shift the limb. "Slagging 'Cons testing sonic weapons," she hissed under her breath hoping that Jazz wouldn't hear here.

"You alright Tallie?" a voice called a moment later and the girl let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm still in one piece but I think I broke an arm," she said. "What about you Jazz?"

"A few severed energon lines but nothin too serious," the mech responded, making his way through the trees to her. Tallie slipped her good hand in her pocket and pulled out two quarters, a pack of gum, and a small roll of duct tape. She glanced at the roll of tape and let out a slightly hysterical laugh.

"I guess duct tape can't fix everything," she said, standing slowly with another whimper of pain. Jazz picked her up carefully and slowly placed her on his shoulder, trying not to move her broken arm. "At least Ratchet can't blame this on us when we get back," Tallie said, laughing weakly.

"Oh trust meh," Jazz said. "He'll think of some way ta blame it on us; I'm sure." Tallie laughed again as Jazz made his way through the trees towards the base where hopefully the two Decepticons with the sonic cannon were not attacking.

_**Allie's List-Rule 25**_

_Disembodied voices get punched_

Allie had been practicing with her gift that morning and now that she had a good grasp of how to use it she decided it was time to have some fun. Slowly she faded out of view and made her way around the base looking for a likely victim. Finally she found one in Frenzy. The minibot was wandering around humming to himself when Allie whispered in a dark and sinister voice, "Death is coming for you." The little 'Con jumped and glanced around him, then shook his head and continued walking, not humming anymore. "Death is just around the corner," Allie whispered and the minibot looked around nervously again.

"Who's-there?" he asked and Allie let out a malicious laugh. This was more fun than she thought it would be.

"Death lurks around every bend. You cannot run from it," Allie hissed as she followed Frenzy around a corner.

"Not-funny," Frenzy said nervously. "Stop-playing-nasty-jokes."

"Who're you talking to Frenzy?" a voice asked by Allie didn't bother to look up and see who it was. She was too busy trying not to laugh.

"There's-a-voice-following-me," Frenzy muttered angrily. "Keeps-talking-about-death." Allie couldn't help it then; she snickered. Moments later a fist slammed into her face and blood was suddenly gushing from her nose.

Trying to stop the blood flow with her hands Allie looked up to see Soundwave looking right at where her face would be if she was visible and Frenzy laughing. "What the frag Soundwave?" Allie snapped before taking off down the hall, not giving the communications director time to come up with a suitable punishment. "Bloody noses really ruin the effect," she muttered as she darted into her room to sulk, slamming the door behind her. "Why does he always have to ruin my fun anyway?"

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 11 <strong>_(For _Hittocere_)

_Painting Sunstreaker a different color while he recharges is not good for your health_

Rain pounded on the roof of the base and thunder rumbled somewhere off in the distance which cause Tallie to jump and then let out a heavy sigh. The base was full of wet, bored people and alien robots since it had been storming all day. The seventeen year old glanced at the buckets of purple and brown paint that she had been planning to use as a splatter painting outside today. The rain had ruined that plan. That was when an evil and all too tempting idea began to turn around in her brain. Sunstreaker had just returned from patrol only to sink into recharge and he was always going on about his paint job. What if she changed his colors a little bit. Tallie giggled, mulling the idea over. It only took a few seconds for the idea to become too tempting to pass up. She had to try it.

Tallie pulled out a couple paint brushes and took the buckets of paint with her. On a whim she also stuck a silver paint marker and stuck it in her pocket. When she found Sunstreaker she opened the paint and went to work. When she was finished a couple hours later Sunny's gold paint had been replaced by a coat of brown with patches of lavender through it. As a final touch Tallie signed her name in small script on his upper arm in silver paint marker. Then she dumped the buckets and brushes into the nearest trash and went to her room to wait. It didn't take long. Sunstreaker's yell of surprise and rage echoed through the base. Tallie giggled, put down the book she had been pretending to read, and went to the hallway to survey her work. The paint had held up well and she had to fight not to laugh like some of the soldiers were doing.

Sunstreaker spotted her and asked, "Why?" The girl thought for a moment and then decided that there wasn't any point in lying about whose fault it was. After all she had signed her name.

"I was bored," she replied simply. Seeing the looking in the narcissistic mech's optics she slowly began backing down the hall.

"I'm going to put you in a tree somwehere and leave you there you little slagger," the mech snarled and Tallie turned to run.

As she dashed down the hallway she muttered, "Is he serious? He does know that it's pouring out doesn't he?" As if to prove her point thunder rumbled right overhead and it began to rain harder. Tallie dashed around a corner and darted behind Jazz's leg, gasping for breath as all eyes turned to focus on her. That is until Sunstreaker and his new paint job came into view. Will Lennox's shoulders shook with silent laughter and Epps let out a bark of laughter when he saw the vain mech. Ironhide chuckled, Ratchet looked disbelieving, Jazz snickered, and Optimus was struggling not to laugh as Sunstreaker looked around the room for the hidden Tallie. Tallie was thankful that Prowl wasn't here right now. The no nonsense mech would have ratted her out in an instant.

"Did you need something?" Optimus asked after a moment.

"No," Sunstreaker said and then went back out into the hall. Tallie gave in finally and giggled.

"You did not really do that?" Ratchet asked, his expression something between amusement and annoyance.

"Yes," Tallie said and both Epps and Lennox snickered.

"You gonna be followin me all day then," Jazz asked, his optics glinting with amusement.

"Probably," Tallie said with a sigh before giggling again.

"Why exactly are you hiding from him?" Ironhide asked, his voice full of mirth. "After doing that you deserve whatever he can come up with."

"He threatened to put me in a tree," Tallie snapped. "It's pouring outside! Besides he should have known that was coming from someone after all the time he spends talking about his paint job and pranking others with 'Sides."

At that everyone started laughing full out. As rain pounded on the roof the base echoed with laughter.

_**Allie's List-Rule 21 **_(For _Hittocere_)

_Running around yelling "The British are coming" isn't allowed_

It was raining and the drops were making a metal chinking noise as they hit the roof. Allie sighed and tossed her Chemistry book to one side of her room, fed up with both her homework for school and the rain. She was ready to do something fun. Allie closed her eyes in an effort to think of something fun to do and realized that the rain hitting the roof sounded like hoof beats. Her mind drifted to a history lesson and a wicked smiled crossed her pretty face. Moments later she was on her feet and darting out her door yelling, "The British are coming!" She shot down another hall and screamed, "The British are coming!"

She pounded into another hallway and into the common room where Barricade, Skywarp, Starscream, and a few other mechs were hanging out. "The British are coming! The British are coming! Run for your lives," she screamed before running out into the hall, hearing the tell-tale thud that meant at least one of the mechs had glitched. Cackling like a wicked witch she darted down another hall yelling," The British are coming."

She pounded into another hallway and then shrieked in surprise as someone picked her up by the ankle. She let out a steady stream of curses until she had to stop, red in the face from lack of air. That was when she identified her captor. Soundwave. The girl gulped at the look on his face. Her guardian stormed into the communications office and opened a closet, tossing the rambunctious seventeen year old inside and slamming the door. A moment later she heard the definite click of a lock. She has just been locked inside a closet. She wasn't breathless for long. "Soundwave this isn't funny! Soundwave," the girl yelled as rain pounded on the roof above her. "Soundwave!" The irritated mech didn't answer her and she let out a heavy sigh.

"At least it isn't the brig," she muttered as she sat down on the floor. "And the roof doesn't leak." She sat in silence for a moment, beginning to sweat in the heat of the closet. "It's hot in here," she muttered, fanning herself. "Soundwave! Hey Soundwave let me outta here!"


	7. Tallie and Allie Rules 33 to 45

Author's Note: First thanks to _Hittocere_, _Mystical-Mist-Devil_, _AkanePandora_, _DamonBamon_, and _Noella _for taking the time to review. To answer _Hittocere_'s question Tallie and Allie are not aware that they are twins...yet. I do have plans for them for another story but the details are kind of sketchy right now. The plot bunny has yet to fully materialize. And to _Noella_ I will work on what you suggested as I continue to write this and thanks for the advice! Enjoy, I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 33:** Paint markers are not allowed on base

(I ended up doodling a Decepticon logo on Jazz while he was in recharge)

(It was in gold paint marker)

(The twins were amused. Jazz, Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet...not so much)

**Rule 34:** The novel _In Cold Blood_ is now banned

(I had nightmares for a week)

(Slagging English teachers and their summer reading)

**Rule 35:** Spray paint is not allowed on base

(I spray painted "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again" on the outer wall of the base in neon green)

(Ironhide was amused. Everyone else was not)

**Rule 36:** Dr. Seuss is not permitted on base anymore

(I was reading to Annabelle and Prowl glitched)

(That was fun to explain to Ratchet...)

**Rule 37:** Pepper spray is banned from base

(How was I supposed to know it was Mirage sneaking up on me and not a 'Con?)

**Rule 38:** Mudflap and Skids are not allowed to watch Wipeout

(They rigged up a sweeper arm in the middle of the base)

(Ironhide blasted it up and then they had to clean up the mess)

(Believe me there were a lot of little pieces)

**Rule 39:** Don't mistake Barricade for a real cop

(Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were actually protective of me)

(Until after they beat the slag out of Barricade that is)

(Then I got the what kind of idiot are you lecture)

**Rule 40:** Pets are not allowed on base

(I had a kitten once)

(Sideswipe almost stepped on it)

(That resulted in severed energon lines and an angry Ratchet)

**Rule 41:** Never call Sunstreaker Sunshine

(It resulted in a lot of yelling and me hanging upsidown)

(Jazz ended up rescuing me)

**Rule 42:** Geometry doesn't have to make sense

(This is for you Prowl)

(For the record I don't get it either...)

**Rule 43:** Calling me a glitching Autbot will result in a broken nose

(Allie this one's for you)

(It was worth Jazz sending Ratchet)

**Rule 44:** Do not ask what happens if an Autobot gets struck by lightning

(the resulting chaos was somehow my fault)

**Rule 45:** Wheelie likes no one but Mikaela

(Period)

(All other humans beware)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 33: **Don't ask why Jetfire defected

(The glare alone from the question is enough to freeze a volcano)

**Rule 34: **The human (me) is not allowed near anything explosive

(I think this was pretty much a unanimous decision)

(I only blew up a fourth of the base!)

**Rule 35:** Don't get me mad...I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

(I actually freaked out a few 'Cons)

(Soundwave thought it was funny. Megatron did not)

**Rule 36:** Never give Frenzy caffeine

(He talks fast enough as is)

**Rule 37:** Do not paint on Starscream while he is in recharge

(I painted "defeat is not an option but retreat is" on his wings)

(He couldn't get it off for a week)

(Ironhide of all mechs thought it was funny)

**Rule 38:** Do not go around saying I will smash you

(Barricade threatened to smash me)

**Rule 39:** No mini skirts

(I was told I was on no condition going to school looking like **that**)

**Rule 40:** Pink is not a good hair color

(It was just a wig but it freaked even me out)

(Soundwave about went through the roof when he saw it)

**Rule 41:** Megamind is now banned from base

(They just don't get it)

(At all)

**Rule 42:** No reading Harry Potter out loud

(No one gets the He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named thing)

(It's hard to focus on the story when everyone is cheering the bad guys on)

**Rule 43:** Do not ask if Megatron can swim

(It brings up bad memories)

(Soundwave says he can't...)

**Rule 44:** Quoting Star Wars is now banned

(Luke I am your father) (Soundwave to me)

(May the force be with you) (Skywarp)

**Rule 45:** April 1st is not an excuse to prank people

(It only annoys them and gets you locked in the brig)


	8. Explanations 4

Author's Note: So sorry for not updating sooner! Writers block is the bane of my existence and why these two are so short. You all have _I an Blueberry_ to thank for prodding me to get this chapter done. Thanks to _I am Blueberry_(yes this is after T1 but with a living Jazz), _DamonBamon_,_Noella50881_, _Starbee_, and _Mystical-Mist-Devil_ for reviewing the last chapter. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie. I'll update again tomorrow, promise!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 37<strong>_

_Pepper spray is banned from base_

Tallie sat on the beach, pencil in hand and her sketch pad on her lap. She was far enough from base to get some peace and quiet and she had pepper spray in her bag just in case. Tallie had no idea what pepper spray would do to a mech but she figured it would be nasty or at least surprising enough to help her get away. As she drew she heard a rustle behind her. Tallie glanced over her shoulder but saw nothing. After a moment she shrugged and went back to drawing the beach in front of her. She heard a rustle again and spun around, dropping her pad and pencil as she glanced around. Still nothing. "Stupid crabs," she muttered and sat down again, opening her pad to a fresh page.

She had made it six seconds into the next drawing when she felt like she was being watched. Instead of turning around Tallie continued to draw. After a moment she reached into her bag as if searching for an eraser and she heard rustling behind her again. Her fingers closed around the pepper spray and she spun around suddenly, unleashing a blast of the substance. There was a yell and Mirage stumbled backwards, cloaking device off now. "Oops," Tallie muttered under her breath tiredly.

Jazz scrambled around the corner to see Mirage on the ground with his hands over his face and Tallie standing blankly in front of him. "This is gonna be an interestin' explanation ain't it?" Jazz asked his young charge who sighed heavily. "What exactly did ya do ta Mirage?"

"Pepper spray," Tallie said blankly.

"What?" Ratchet asked in a deadly calm voice from behind Jazz. Tallie lasted six seconds under the medic's harsh glare before she broke.

"How was I supposed to know it was Mirage and not a 'Con?" The two mechs stared in shock as the human stalked away from them, drawing pad and snapped pencil in hand.

_**Allie's List-Rule 37**_

_Do not paint on Starscream's wings while he is in recharge_

Allie had a plan. She had "borrowed" a container of saffron yellow paint from the art room at school and a paint brush. Starscream had taken night patrol and was still in recharge when Allie got back from school. The girl found him easily enough and got to work. An hour later the proud result was dripping letters that said _Defeat is not an option_ on one side and _But retreat is_ on the other. Allie nodded in satisfaction and went quietly to her room.

She managed to stay there undisturbed doing her homework like a good girl until the alarms went off. The Autobots were attacking. Oh this was just too good. Allie snickered to herself just as her phone vibrated. The text was from an unfamiliar number and when she opened it she saw it was a picture of Starscream's wings. The text underneath it said _Did you do this?_ Tallie; had to be her. No other human could have gotten her number.

_Yes_. Allie sent back to the goody-two-shoes Autobot adopted girl. Her phone vibrated again almost immediately.

_Ironhide says to tell you nice work._ Allie stared at the text in shock for a few minutes before busting out laughing. This was just too good!


	9. Tallie and Allie Rules 46 to 55

Author's Note: Thanks to _Starbee_,_Noella50881_, _DamonBamon_,_I Am Blueberry_ (I'll work on including your requests in the next section),_ YukiHanako_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, and _AkanePandora_ for reviewing the last chapter! You guys are my sunshine! Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 46:** Do not play songs over and over obsessively

(It bothers everyone but Jazz)

(Prowl actually glitched after a bit)

**Rule 47:** The following quotes are not to be used again;

I reject your reality and substitute it for my own

(It gets old fast)

(I said it once and suddenly everyone uses it)

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere

(Sunny thought it was hysterical but Sides who I was yelling at for parking in a fire lane did not)

Do not disturb. I'm disturbed enough already

(I said that once and it's been used on me almost a hundred times by now)

**Rule 48:** Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

(Prowl glitched)

(Ratchet threatened me with a containment cell that held Sides and Sunny)

**Rule 49:** As of tomorrow employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will recieve their cards in two weeks

(Optimus this wasn't funny!)

(Lennox didn't think it was either)

**Rule 50:** If at first you do succeed try not to look astonished

(Skids and Mudflap deserved it)

(I got lectured for not being polite)

**Rule 51:** Do not try anything they do on Mythbusters

(There's a reason they say do not try any of this at home)

(Ratchet wasn't too pleased with our attempts)

**Rule 52:** Truth or Dare is banned

(Especially around Sides and Sunny)

(It got nasty fast)

**Rule 53: **Quoting Kung Fu Panda is strictly forbidden

(Skadoosh) (Skids and Mudflap constantly when they hit something)

(One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it) (Ratchet when he found me trying to avoid punishment)

**Rule 54:** Camping is not a good idea

(Sides and Sunny complained, Ironhide threatened to blast them, Jazz was absent, and the 'Cons showed up)

(Ironhide did blast them)

(The 'Cons I mean)

**Rule 55: **Caterpillars are creepy

(But for some reason little kids like them)

(Ick!)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 46: **No jelly fish on base

(Ever again!)

(Portuguese man of war count as jelly fish Skywarp!)

**Rule 47:** Lightsabers are not real

(Get over it!)

(And stop trying to make them. You just end up blowing up things!)

**Rule 48:** Elephants are also banned

(Stampeding elephants can hurt even Megatron)

(And I got blamed for it...)

**Rule 49: **Never yell "The Autobots are attacking" to wake someone up

(Full scale emergency response for no reason seems to annoy everyone)

**Rule 50:** Attempting to antagonize Ironhide results in getting blasted

(That one's pretty much self explanatory)

**Rule 51:** Creating a list of traitors is Soundwave's job

(Any list not signed by Soundwave is a joke!)

**Rule 52:** Do not use human/Decepticon/alt mode as target practice

(Or Megatron will smash you)

(If Soundwave doesn't get there first)

**Rule 53:** Using power lines to electrocute humans results in law suits

(Law suits result in being tracked by NEST soldiers)

(That results in furious Starscream, Soundwave, and Megatron)

**Rule 54:** Deleting rule lists results in me being angry

(Which results in yelling)

(Which results in an annoyed Soundwave)

**Rule 55:** Blasting a rubic's cube does nothing

(Stop playing with them in the first place)

(And they said I got obsessed with stuff...)


	10. Explanations 5

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating sooner but my plot bunnies turned into fish and slipped away. You have _I am Blueberry_ to thank for prodding me to catch them. Thank you to _Nitrofrost2_, _I am Blueberry_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, _Starbee_, and _DamonBamon_ for reviewing. _I am Blueberry_ your requests are in the second half of this chapter. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 49<strong>_

_As of tomorrow employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks._

Tallie slipped out of Jazz's alt mode to see Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Jose Figuero, Robert Epps, and Jolt gathered around a sign hanging on the wall. "Hey guys. Watcha looking at?" she asked as Jazz transformed behind her.

"Does this mean we don't have to work for the next two weeks?" Sideswipe asked. Tallie shot a confused look at Jazz who just shrugged.

"Probably not," Sunstreaker said. "But we could give it a try." Tallie slipped over to them and shot both Epps and Fig grateful smiles when they moved over so that she could see. She silently read the words on the sign, sensing that Jazz was doing the same behind her, and her eyes widened with shock.

"What the heck is going on here?" she asked. 'Sides and Sunny both shrugged.

"Beats me," Jolt said.

"Hey Will...Will," Epps yelled at the Major. "What's going on here?"

"What do you mean?" Will Lennox asked, looking confused.

"This poster," Fig said. "Is this some kind of a joke or what?"

"What poster?" Will snapped, sounding annoyed. "Look guys I have a meeting with Galloway in fifteen minutes and you know what he's like if someone's late. I don't have time for jokes."

"This doesn't look like a joke ta me," Jazz said and Will looked even more confused.

"What exactly does this poster say?" the Major asked.

"As of tomorrow employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards," Tallie read. "Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

"What?" Will yelped. "No one said anything about this. If I catch the person responsible I'm going to"

"Don't you have a meeting with Galloway," Epps reminded the Major gently. Will stomped off grumbling under his breath as he went.

"Does this mean it's not real?" Fig asked after a moment. Everyone else just shrugged.

That night Jazz was heading over to talk to Optimus about rearranging the patrol schedule with Tallie on his shoulder when Will Lennox stomped across the catwalk to confront the semi mimic. He had the poster clutched in his clenched hand. "Explain this," he snapped, waving the paper in the Autobot leader's face. "People have been coming up to Prowl and I all afternoon panicking about this. What made you think it was a good idea?"

"Well umm..."Optimus began almost awkwardly and Tallie had to hold in giggles.

"Didn't you think about how much mass hysteria this could and would cause. Prowl's job and my job are hard enough without stuff like this," Will growled.

"It was for Galloway," Optimus said and there was a moment of silence while this was considered.

"Well next time don't leave it in plain sight so that everyone comes to Prowl and I with concerns," he said after a moment and walked away leaving a bemused Optimus, amused Jazz, and giggling Tallie behind.

Somewhere in the next room Sideswipe could be heard saying, "Does that mean we don't get two weeks off?"

_**Allie's List-Rule 48**_

_Elephants are also banned_

It was raining when the two trucks pulled into the driveway of the Decepticon base (why they even had a driveway was a mystery to Allie) so Soundwave's adopted daughter didn't think much of it. She was too busy trying to get out of the rain. Later she would hate herself for not mentioning it. She was half asleep trying to do Geometry problems in the communication room when it happened. There was a thundering noise and several large gray lumps thundered across one of the screens. "What the frag was that?" Allie asked but Soundwave wasn't around to answer her. She opened the communication room and carefully glanced around. Nothing and no one in sight. With a relieved sigh she slipped out only to see a herd of stampeding elephants racing down the hall. Allie shrieked and darted back into the communication room as they thundered by. Then she slipped out the door and raced the other direction.

She ran into the rec room only to see a downed Megatron lying on the floor with Hook working on him. "Hey guys," Allie gasped out. "There are stampeding elephants...running...around...um. Is this not a good time." Everyone's furious optics were fixed on her except for Frenzy's.

"Yes, we know that," Soundwave said coldly and Allie swallowed hard even though she hadn't done it. "One thing though; where did you get the elephants?"

"Wait, you don't think I did this do you?" Allie asked. The glares were answer enough. Allie suddenly turned her glare on the cassette cowering behind Soundwave. "Frenzy I am going to kill you!" she shrieked and the two were off racing down the halls along with six stampeding elephants

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 35<strong>_ (For _I am Blueberry_)

_Spray paint is not allowed on base_

Tallie was bored and looking for an artistic outlet that particular Saturday. Ironhide was complaining about how many people tried to trespass on the base grounds. Needless to say the result was not what most would have expected. Tallie had one can of neon green spray paint from her last art project and access to the internet. It was only a matter of time before she found the quote. It took a little longer to hack Red Alert's security system and loop the cameras. She got Maggie's help for that. Then she spray painted the outer wall of the building closest to the entrance. It was a good hour before anyone found the result.

"Who exactly did this?" Optimus growled as he looked at the base wall. Ultra Magnus, Elita, and Chromia who had just arrived stared blankly at the wall. Ironhide started to laugh. Ratchet and Jazz both turned to Tallie. The girl flushed bright red but stood her ground.

"I was bored and technically this is Ironhide's fault," she protested.

"How is this 'Hide's fault?" Chromia asked curious as she studied the words "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

"He was the one complaining about people trying to sneak in. I was just trying to help," Tallie said innocently as Ironhide roared with laughter. Optimus vented a heavy sigh and covered his face with a hand.

Jazz glanced at the Autobot medic and then at his young charge before saying one word. "Run." Tallie ran.

_**Allie's List-Rule 44**_ (For _I am Blueberry_)

_Quoting Star Wars is not allowed_

Normally the Decepticons didn't quote things but there were two separate incidents that they did. The first one was a week after the disembodied voice incident. Allie was laying on her bedroom floor doing her Chem homework when a voice behind her rumbled, "Luke I am your father." Allie let out a yelp and spun around quick as a cat that had just been sprayed with water only to see Soundwave standing there with a smirk on his normally expressionless face. Without another word he turned around and left her room.

"Hey! What was that for?" Allie called but he just kept walking. "I'm talking to you," she yelled after him but he just continued to ignore her. Allie sighed heavily and went back to her Chem homework figuring that she would probably never know. She was probably right.

The second incident took place two days after the first. Starscream and Misfire (why Misfire of all mechs?) had been ordered by Megatron to go dive bomb the Autobot base and just create chaos in general. Needless to say Starscream was not too please with the assignment. Neither were his wing mates Thundercracker and Skywarp. "May the force be with you," Skywarp announced gravely as the door shut behind Starscream and Misfire.

The last thing they heard from the SIC for the next hour was him shrieking, "What do you mean may the force be with you?" Allie stumbled to her room laughing hysterically at the SIC's panic. Some day s were just too good to be true.


	11. Tallie and Allie Rules 56 to 65

Author's Note: Thanks to _DamonBamon_, _Starbee_, and _I am Blueberry_ for reviewing the last chapter! Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 56:** Just because you change your holoform doesn't mean I don't know who you are

(I know all of you!)

(Every little detail)

(Got it 'Sides and Sunny?)

**Rule 57:** When picking me up from school please be punctual

('Sides and Sunny this one's for you)

(again...)

**Rule 58:** Do not park in a fire lane

(Sideswipe this means you)

**Rule 59:** Do not put the "Star Spangled Banner" on repeat over the sound system

(Yes it is the national anthem. No we do not want to hear it over a hundred times a day)

**Rule 60:** Tractors do not move any faster

(Really they don't)

(You can scan one as an alt mode and test that if you don't believe me!)

**Rule 61:** Threatening my school mates is not permitted

(Even if they are jerks)

(I can take care of them myself)

(It's why I keep ending up in the office!)

**Rule 62:** Traffic signals and regulations are not optional

(Everyone but Prowl)

(Good grief!)

**Rule 63:** Pop cans are in fact good weapons

(Actually I have Allie to thank for this)

(If we could actually work together more often _everyone_ would be in trouble)

(Good times!)

**Rule 64:** No you cannot kill the twins

(either set)

(And if you could Ratchet has the first chance)

**Rule 65:** Locking Optimus out of his office is not allowed

(Lennox helped me with this)

(It was revenge for the ID chaos)

(See rule 49)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 56:** Tripping the alarms at 2 in the morning gets you sent to the brig

(It's not my fault Laserbeak took my Chem book!)

**Rule 57:** Never let Misfire shoot at _anything_!

(enough said)

**Rule 58:** I quit is not an option

(Pretty much everyone but Soundwave and, oddly enough, Starscream)

**Rule 59:** The Song That Never Ends is banned

(Do I even need to explain this?)

**Rule 60: **Setting up a motion sensor that sets off an alarm every time everyone gets within five feet of the rec room is not cool

(The alarm goes off every sixty seconds)

(Not one of my better pranks)

**Rule 61:** Attempting to hack Soundwave's files is just plain dumb

(Megatron and not Starscream strangely enough)

(Then again Megatron trusts no one)

**Rule 62:** Modeling your ships after the Death Star is just stupid

(I mean come on... it was round!)

(And it blew up)

**Rule 63:** Leaving me to walk home in a thunderstorm demands retribution

(Soundwave was ticked)

(It's when he starts having emotions that you need to worry!)

**Rule 64:** Just because your alt mode is a police car doesn't mean you can speed

(Barricade found this out the hard way)

**Rule 65:** Because I said so is not an acceptable response

(Starscream, Barricade, and Soundwave when dealing with me)

(It only works for Megatron)


	12. Explanations 6

Author's Note: So I did actually catch the plot bunnies before they ran away again! Thanks to _Starbee_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, _I am Blueberry_, and _DamonBamon_ for reviewing the last chapter! Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 63<strong>_

_Pop cans are in fact good weapons_

It was Friday. Students were talking loudly and the commons were jammed as school let out fro the afternoon. That was normal. Tallie and Allie crouched in the shadows without arguing or fighting was not so normal. "So are you still in?" Allie asked, handing her worst enemy a Mountain Dew can.

"Definitely," Tallie responded. "This'll be the third year we won't be allowed to attend semi-formal if we don't do something about it." Allie nodded and grinned, shaking up her own Mountain Dew can.

"On my count," the Decepticon girl said. "One. Two. Three." On three they both tossed the cans on their respective guardian's alt modes. Or what should have been their alt modes. "Oh frag," Allie said as the can struck Barricade.

"We are so dead," Tallie said as her's struck Sunstreaker. "Do we have a plan B?"

"Yeah," Allie said grabbing Tallie's arm. "Run!" The two raced off down the street, their respective rides right behind them. Two stoplights and one railroad crossing later they had managed to lose their rides and were at a crossroads. "You're on your own now," Allie told her archenemy. "Good luck."

"Same to you," Tallie called as she raced off. "Open the gate," she yelled at Epps when she reached the base. He and Jolt both stared at her strangely as she darted in.

"What'd you do to Sunny?" Epps called.

"No time," Tallie hollered as she raced away, noticing the cloud of dust down the road. "I'll tell ya later." Then she was off and running into the base and through the main hanger where she almost ran into Will. "Where's Jazz?" she panted out.

"You tell me what's going on as we run and I'll take you there?" Lennox said with a grin and Tallie nodded. As they raced off toward the proving grounds Tallie went to work summarizing what was going on.

"Allie and I were tired of being told we're not allowed to go to semi-formal so we decided to get even," she panted out. "We had pop cans shaken up to throw when our guardians got there to pick us up. The thing is we didn't realize it was Sunstreaker and Barricade instead of Jazz and Soundwave. Worse still the cans exploded."

"How in the heck did you get ahead of Sunny?" Lennox asked as they darted up the scaffolding.

"Railroad crossing and stoplights," Tallie panted out and Lennox laughed. Jazz offered her his hand and she quickly climbed on just as Sunstreaker darted around the corner to snarl at her. Sideswipe held his brother back as soda dripped down the yellow paint job. There was also a good sized dent in his forehead. Tallie was struggling not to laugh but Lennox didn't even tried as he doubled over with laughter. "You were supposed to pick me up," Tallie accused and Jazz winced while Optimus and Ultra Magnus tried not to laugh.

"How about I'll protect ya from Sunny if ya don't mention it again," Jazz suggested weakly, knowing that his charge wouldn't take kindly to the fact that he had forgotten about her.

"Deal," Tallie said, settling on his shoulder and eyeing a furious Sunstreaker. This was going to be an interesting afternoon.

_**Allie's List-Rule 64**_

_Just because your alt mode is a police car doesn't mean you can speed_

Allie sat impatiently on the school steps. It was now a whole hour after school was out and Barricade wasn't there to pick her up yet. She would have used her cell phone to call Soundwave but she had gotten it taken away because she was up texting until two in the morning a couple days ago. Now she was stranded at the school. That was when a familiar mustang police car bearing the logo _To Punish and Enslave_ on the side pulled into the parking lot. "Finally," Allie snapped as she slid into the passenger seat. "What took you so long?" Then her eyes focused on the ticket sitting next to her in the driver's seat. "Wait, you got ticket. What for?"

She snatched the ticket up and a voice growled, "Put that back down." Allie ignored him and began to read.

"You got pulled over for speeding," she yelled and Barricade growled something to softly for her to hear. "What did you say?"

"I was running late," Barricade grumbled. Then he growled menacingly as Allie began laughing. She was definitely using this to get her phone back somehow.


	13. Tallie and Allie Rules 66 to 75

Author's Note: Thanks to _Starbee_, _Noella50881_, _DamonBamon_, and _Mytical-Mist-Devil_ for reviewing the last chapter (Everyone seemed to enjoy the fact the Barricade got ticketed). Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 66:** The following should not be put on T-Shirts:

I don't know what makes you stupid but it really works

(Mudflap and Skids were mad when I explained it was about them)

('Sides and Sunny thought it was hysterical)

Come to the dark side...we have cookies

(Red Alert I am NOT defecting)

**Rule 67:** Modifying quotes from Rango to suit you is not allowed!

(Sign the d*** paper) [Galloway]

(Here in the Mojave desert creatures have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. But the Autobot, he is going to die) [Me to Jazz when we were attacked by about six Decepticons]

(Never underestimate Jazz)

(Now Tallie I've always thought of you as a niece and I've done my best to look after you ever since your daddy did not fall drunk down a mine shaft) [Sideswipe]

(My response; I didn't even know my daddy!)

**Rule 68:** He's in charge...ask him

(Optimus does not appreciate this)

(Jazz, Ultra Magnus, and surprisingly Prowl all did this in the same day)

**Rule 69:** While throwing Starscream through windows may be fun it's not an effective way to get rid of him

(Plus buying new windows is getting kind of expensive)

**Rule 70:** Yes humans can be dumb. No you cannot total their vehicles

('Sides, Sunny, and... Jazz?)

(To be fair to Jazz the guy did flip me off)

**Rule 71:** Bumper stickers are banned

(Sarah, Maggie, and I got 'Sides and Sunny good)

**Rule 72:** No hacking Red Alert's security system

(or asking Maggie for help hacking it)

**Rule 73:** Human swear words are not to be used by Cybertronians

(Ironhide, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and Bumblebee)

(You guys have been hanging around humans too much!)

**Rule 74:** No fireworks in the med bay

(Ratchet was not pleased about the resulting mess)

**Rule 75:** Common sense isn't so common

(We known Prowl, we know)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 66:** No making signs and/or T-Shirts

(I have a shirt that says I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it)

(I made a sign for Starscream that said Coward: running from battles since before you were born)

**Rule 67:** No Ke$ha

(Her songs inspire hour long rants)

**Rule 68:** Jack-O-Lanterns are banned

(Who knew grinning pumpkins could cause so much chaos?)

(;D)

**Rule 69:** Opposite day causes mass hysteria

(Trust me it did not)

(*wink*)

**Rule 70:** No hiding the food

(When I'm hungry, I'm hungry darn it!)

**Rule 71:** Saturdays are for sleeping in

(No explosions before 10 AM please)

(I need my beauty sleep!)

**Rule 72:** Iron man does not exist

(The Decepticons were paranoid for a week)

(They kept waiting for some guy in a metal suit to come around and destroy them all)

(The Seekers were especially worried)

**Rule 73:** Never use oxymorons

(They spread like a virus)

(My favorite is still that Starscream caused a small crisis by accidentally on purpose shooting Megatron with friendly fire)

**Rule 74:** Wrestling is banned

(No matter what you think you guys cannot bend like that)

(And Hook is getting tired of de-attaching and then re-attaching limbs)

**Rule 75:** Double sided tape is dangerous

(Somehow TC got taped to Ironhide)

(I think Tallie and I both about died laughing)


	14. Explanations 7

Author's Note: Thanks to _I am Blueberry_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_ (I have a little brother and weird friends that constantly give me ideas for this), and _Nitrofrost2_ (sorry I didn't do the Ironman one but I couldn't come up with enough stuff to make a full story out of it. I will say that the Seekers were worried because he takes out a plane in the movie) for reviewing and to _I am Blueberry_ for prodding me to get this done. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 67<strong>_

_Modifying quotes from Rango to suit you is not allowed_

"Just sign the d*** paper," Galloway growled at Tallie. The girl glared at him darkly and then snatched the paper that made her a ward of the state like he wanted and took the pen. Ever since it had been shown that she was special to the Autobots and would stand up to them and furthermore be listened to Galloway had been trying to get rid of her. This was his ticket to send her elsewhere.

In one swift motion Tallie ripped the paper in half and then shredded it swiftly and efficiently. That done she tossed the pen at Galloway's face and stalked off into the desert. Sideswipe followed her. "Where you going Tallie?" he asked.

"Go away," Tallie growled.

"Aw Tallie come on," Sideswipe whined.

"Go away you little glitch headed slagger," Tallie snapped knowing that Ratchet would want to kill her if he found out she was using that kind of language.

"Now Tallie I've always thought of you as a niece since your daddy did not fall drunk down a mine shaft," Sideswipe began.

"I didn't even know my daddy so shut up and leave me alone," Tallie hissed, her hands glowing with electricity. Sideswipe wisely backed off. Tallie continued on her way alone. Or so she thought.

"Hey Tallie. I don't mean to bother you but we've got a little problem," Jazz said calmly. Tallie sighed, looked around, and then winced. Six Decepticons. How had she missed that?

"Here in the Mojave Desert creatures have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment but the Autobot? He is going to die," Tallie said sourly. Jazz just shook his head as the Decepticons attacked. If she learned one thing that afternoon it was to never underestimate Jazz.

"Ready ta head back?" he asked after he had sent the last Decepticon running.

"Fine but one thing," Tallie said.

"What?"

"No more quotes from Rango. After today I'm not sure I'm even gonna be able to use them."

_**Allie's List-Rule 74**_

_Double sided tape is dangerous_

"Look what I've got," Skywarp chirped to Allie.

"What exactly do you have?" Allie asked warily. Skywarp was famous on both sides for pranking mechs and generally causing chaos. "It looks like an empty tape roll."

"It is," Skywarp said with a snicker. "The tape's with TC." Then he danced off gleefully.

"Hey Skywarp," Allie called after him. "What kind of tape was it?"

"Double sided," Skywarp yelled back before vanishing only to probably pop up somewhere else. That did it. Allie was hiding the tape in Soundwave's office and then staying far away from Skywarp and TC for the rest of the day. She didn't want to be pranked. She had just locked her door when her phone vibrated signaling she had a text message. _Come outside-T_

_Why?_ Allie texted back. For all she knew Tallie could be trying to trick her.

_You'll appreciate this...Trust me._

Allie sighed and slipped outside. What she saw made her double over laughing. Tallie was snickering as she sauntered over to her enemy. "So what do you make of this?" she asked.

"Now I know what Skywarp meant when he said TC had the double sided tape," Allie replied before they both doubled over laughing again.

"Ironhide would blast TC except that they're too close together," Tallie said between snickers. Others were slowly filtering out to see what was going on and all were trying not to laugh. Somehow TC and Ironhide had ended up taped together.

"I want to know how he did it," Allie snickered.

"I don't know but give him my congratulations," Tallie said. "And tell him he'd better run fast."

"No kidding," Allie said and the two girls went back to laughing.


	15. Tallie and Allie Rules 76 to 85

Author's Note: So here's the deal. I'll be getting to about a hundred rules soon on this list and this story will temporarily go on hold while I write Tallie and Allie's story titled Fated. Once Fated is finished this will be started again. So probably four or five more chapters on this and then it will go on hold for a while. Thank you to _I am Blueberry_ (yes, Skywarp is going to be very dead) and _Starbee_ who reviewed the last chapter. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 76:** Despite what certain mechs seem to think my cell phone/robotic baby alligator was _not_ trying to eat me

(You know who you are!)

**Rule 77:** My computer doesn't turn into anything

(For the last time I haven't "corrupted" it)

(Yet...)

**Rule 78:** Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked up by jet engines

(Take that Thundercracker!)

(I don't know who was laughing harder, Jazz or Barricade)

**Rule 79:** Do not change the door codes

('Sides, Sunny, If Ratchet doesn't kill you then I will)

(Actually I think Optimus is going to murder them first...)

**Rule 80: **Silly string and water balloons are a good way to freak out Skids and Mudflap

(Mainly chasing them off with silly string and into their berths)

(Which were coated with water balloons)

(Jazz helped. Ratchet threatened to kill us both)

**Rule 81:** Replacing everyone's energon with High Grade will get you killed later

(But it was funny while it lasted)

(Unfortunately Ratchet skipped out)

**Rule 82:** What the hey is now banned

(It's better than what the heck!)

(Though it did cause Prowl to glitch the first time I said it...)

**Rule 83:** Paranoia is not to be aided

(Jazz, Sunny, 'Sides, Mudflap, Skids, and I had something going too)

(By the end of the day there were smoking holes in the base though)

(And quite and line going into the med bay)

**Rule 84: **Burmese Tiger Trap

(It wasn't my fault there was an actual Burmese Tiger in it)

(It was Mudflap and Skids!)

(Sounds like a cartoon or something...)

**Rule 85:** Leave the trampoline alone!

(It doesn't hold up a mech's weight)

(Or a femme's)

(Humans only morons!)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 76:** Smile...it confuses people

(Except for Soundwave)

(I cracked in about sixty seconds)

**Rule 77: **I don't get paid enough for this

(You don't get paid at all glitch heads!)

(Well except for Soundwave)

(I always wondered why he stuck around the other idiots here...)

**Rule 78:** No kissing human boys

(I don't know which scared him more; Ravage or Soundwave's holoform)

(Thanks a lot Dad!)

**Rule 79:** No setting up obstacle courses on base

(I was so not prepared for that when I got home from school)

(TC, Skywarp, and Starscream got slagged by a furious Soundwave)

(It helps when your Dad is Megatron's right hand mech)

**Rule 80:** Don't yell Remember the Alamo

(Unless you want a reminder of how much older Cybertron is)

(Even Misfire can lecture for at least ten minutes)

(What the heck is up with that?)

**Rule 81: **Drawing Autobot sigils on any surface is not advisable

(I was inetrrogated for over an hour each by three different mechs)

(Starscream was freaked, Soundwave annoyed, and Megatron furious)

**Rule 82:** Don't steal my sticky notes!

(I found them all over the rec room wall)

(I don't think anyone was pleased with the new pink and neon green "wallpaper")

**Rule 83:** No laser pointers

(Let's just say I aimed one at Blackout and he nearly got blown off the face of the planet)

**Rule 84:** Do not attach lightning rods on the Seeker's alt modes during a thunderstorm

(Once Hook onlines them again they aren't very happy)

**Rule 85:** Never yell "Fire in the hole!" randomly

(Even though the freak outs and diving for cover are hysterical)

(Go Starscream!)


	16. Explanations 8

Author's Note: Thanks to _I am Blueberry_, _Noella50881_, and _Riptide2_ for reviewing the last chapter! Enjoy and I own nothing but my OCs

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 79<strong>_

_Do not change the door codes_

There were three things that Tallie really didn't like; football, explosions at four in the morning, and homework on Fridays. Now she had a fourth to add to her list, or rather fourth and fifth. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. The twins in question were the reason that Jazz, Tallie, Will Lennox, Robert Epps, and Ratchet were locked out of the base's main building. "I'm going to slagging kill those glitch heads," Ratchet snarled as they waited outside the door.

"Language Ratchet," Jazz warned with a smirk in the medic's direction. Tallie, who was sitting on his shoulder, giggled at that. Ratchet just growled and continued to mutter curses albeit in a softer voice. Tallie could still hear them.

There was a rumble of an engine behind them and Optimus and Ironhide transformed, both staring in bemusement at the figures sitting outside the door in front of them. "Why are you all out here?" Optimus asked, confused and Tallie sighed.

"Two reasons," Ratchet snarled. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. I'm going to offline those two when I get my hands on them!"

"They changed the door codes," Jazz explained. Optimus nodded slightly.

"Ratchet you are not going to kill them," the Autobot leader said calmly.

"Why not?" Ratchet growled.

"Because I am going to kill them first," the Autobot leader said in a completely uninterested tone. "Ironhide if you wouldn't mind." The humans cracked up as Ironhide blasted open the door. The twins were in trouble this time.

_**Allie's List-Rule 85**_

_Never yell "Fire in the hole" randomly_

The first hint Allie got of the fact that she was not the only one tired of Megatron's lectures on how the Autobots were pure evil came on a Saturday afternoon. It was about an hour into the lecture and though she wasn't aware of it Starscream was both bored and fed up with the situation. All she knew was that one moment she was sitting on Soundwave's shoulder and in the next someone had yelled, "Fire in the hole!" Then she was flat on the floor with Soundwave shielding her. Everyone else was flat on the floor with various dents on their armor and looks of panic on their faceplates but Starscream was standing in the middle of it all laughing his head off. Even though Allie couldn't help but feel that the Seeker had finally cracked under all the pressure Megatron put on him she couldn't help but laugh too. The looks on everyone's faceplates had been priceless. As Soundwave picked the girl back up she noticed that under his visor Soundwave's optics were bright with amusement.

Megatron howevere was not amused. One moment the Decepticon leader was cowering on the floor and in the next second he was tower over the still laughing SIC. Next there was a Starscream sized hole in the wall of the rec room to go with the Barricade and Allie ones. When everyone looked out Starscream was still laughing. It left Allie with two thoughts as she quietly snickered her way through the rest of Megatron's lecture. One was that throwing Starscream through things solved nothing and the other was that they were running out of wall in the rec room.


	17. Tallie and Allie Rules 86 to 95

Author's Note: So since I haven't uploaded this for about a week (maybe a little longer) I'm updating twice today. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 86:** No more playing Excuse Me, May I Borrow Your Cat

(Prowl glitched)

(Bumblebee was confused because Sam didn't have a cat)

(Mikaela and I were laughing too hard to continue after that)

**Rule 87:** No singing along with/listening to "Before He Cheats"

(I have never seen so many freaked out 'Bots)

(Mikaela and I both got mentality tests)

(We both passed...)

**Rule 88:** No beach volleyball

(At least not with Autobots)

(It's not fair that y'all are taller than the net!)

**Rule 89:** Never tell Ironhide that a GMC is not a real truck

(Even though I still think it's not)

(Go Dodge!)

(Mikaela and I both about died because we were laughing too hard about his expression to run)

**Rule 90:** The 'Bots are not allowed to watch Muppets

(They were disturbed by Animal and Kermit)

(I want my Muppets back guys!)

**Rule 91:** Do not attempt any of the car chase scenes in any of the Bourne movies

(They were done by professionals guys)

(You are most definitely not professionals!)

**Rule 92: **Wait...that wasn't supposed to happen

(If Wheeljack is saying this run for your life!)

**Rule 93:** Never say the following when the new recruits arrive

(Fasten your seat belt; It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car)[Mikaela]

(There are two kinds of people here; the quick and the dead. If you're not quick you're dead)[Lennox]

(Run white boy run!) [Epps]

**Rule 94:** In the event of a Decepticon attack don't say the following

(Not yet...not yet...not yet...PANIC!) [Mudflap and Skids]

(I'm busy right now. Can you come again later?) [Optimus]

(Anyone have a plan?) [Lennox and Epps]

**Rule 95:** No hiding the coffee

(Caffeine withdrawals=very grouchy soldiers)

(Ratchet wasn't quite as prepared for that as he thought)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 86:** The sentence I'm defecting is not allowed

(Soundwave almost glitched)

(I was told by Starscream that that was a feat in itself)

**Rule 87:** Is there life on other planets?

(The correct answer is yes)

(Not "Why do you care? You don't have a life on this planet)

**Rule 88:** No playing the following songs

(I am a Gummy Bear) [It drives the 'Cons crazy]

(Before he Cheats) [though the freak outs are entertaining]

(Crazy Frog) [IDK why on this one]

**Rule 89:** Never ask when Megatron went insane

(If anyone is honest they'll say he never was sane)

(If Megatron is around you and the other members of the conversation will be blasted through the nearest wall)

**Rule 90:** Don't tempt fate

(In other words no taunting Megatron)

(Or Starscream)

(Or pretty much anyone on base...)

**Rule 91:** The following are not to be used to describe Megatron;

wimp (Starscream was then thrown through a window)

moron (Megatron wasn't sure what to do since this came from Soundwave)

idiot (Blitzwing. 'Nough said)

glitch head (anyone and just about everyone on base)

**Rule 92:** No more throwing and/or blasting people/mechs through walls

(Megatron this is for you)

(We're running out of slagging walls!)

**Rule 93:** No more tongue twisters

(I'm not sure I've ever seen some many glitching mechs in my life)

(Bwahahaha!)

(To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life long lock awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock from a cheap and chipper chopper on a big black block)

**Rule 94: **No getting into shouting matches with Blitzwing

(For one thing he has three different opinions)

(For another it sounds like about five people shouting)

**Rule 95:** No calling Megatron Lord Voldemort

(Starscream was not happy)

(Megatron thought it was entertaining though...)


	18. Explanations 9

Author's Note: Thanks to _I am Blueberry_, _Transformers123124_, _Noella50881_, and _Starbee_ for reviewing. Two more chapters before this goes one hold (at least until I get Fated going good). Fated has two chapters right now, both introductions into what's going on. Enjoy and I own nothing but my OCs. _Transformers123124_ your request is in the second half of this chapter

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tallie's List- Rule 94<strong>_

_In the event of a Decepticon don't say the following_

Decepticon attacks were quickly becoming synonymous with freaking out new recruits; at least when it came to Skids, Mudflap, Lennox, Epps, and Optimus. It had all started with the twins and Barricade. Several new soldiers had just joined NEST a day ago and hadn't seen a Decepticon before. The instant they saw Barricade on the horizon they started saying, "Not yet...not yet...not yet."

"Not yet what?" an annoyed Lennox asked rather sharply.

"PANIC!"Mudflap and Skids yelled much to the new soldiers' astonishment and Lennox's exasperation.

"Everyone don't panic," Lennox ordered as Epps snickered next to him. "On my order turn to the nearest annoying Autobo and fire at will." Mudflap and Skids looked at each other with wide optics and then transformed, diving for cover. That was the start of it all.

Optimus was the next one to pick up the joke. This time it was when Sunstreaker had just arrived on Earth. The gold warrior had been filling in Optimus on what was going on outside the planet when several Decepticons arrived. "I'm busy right now," the Autobot leader said calmly. "Would you mind attacking later?" Then he turned and walked away leaving several confused Decepticons and a slightly dazed Sunstreaker staring after him.

The last time was when Lennox and Epps finally came in and went with the flow. The Autobots and their human allies were gathered to fight the incoming Decepticons. Lennox and Epps broke the silence by simultaneously saying, "Anyone have a plan?" Every turned astonished eyes or optics to the pair and they both cracked up laughing.

"Kidding, just kidding," Lennox snickered when he finally caught his breath. All the new recruits behind him let out a silent sigh of relief.

_**Allie's List-Rule 93**_

_No more tongue twisters_

It was a Saturday afternoon and Allie was mumbling under her breath. That wasn't exactly unusual but when Frenzy glitched trying to understand what she was muttering it caught some of the other mech's attention. "What the slag are you doing?" Barricade finally snarled and Allie glanced at him with dark eyes.

"Tongue twisters," she said rather sharply and then went back to mumbling, her brow furrowed with concentration.

"What?" several mechs asked at the exactly same time and Allie snickered but kept mumbling.

"Explain," Barricade growled, cutting off her mumbling. Allie sighed heavily and glared at him.

"Fine," she snapped. "To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life long lock awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock from a cheap and chipper chopper on a big black block." There was a moment of dead silence and then several thuds that shook the ground. Allie stared in astonishment at the glitched mechs and the busted up laughing. "Note to self," she said gleefully. "To shut up mechs simply start on tongue twisters. After today they won't go near one with a ten foot pole." Then he practically skipped out of the room with a wide grin.

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><p><em><strong>Allie's List-Rule 78<strong>_ (For _Transformers123124_)

_No kissing human boys_

Allie had been going to the same school for close to two years and besides her worst enemy and few of the other art and drama geeks she was one of the only girls who hadn't been kissed. The seventeen year old intended to change that. The beautiful brown haired girl had her eyes on one boy in particular. Adam Evans was a wide receiver on the school football team and not bad looking besides. He had also been watching her for quite a long time. He finally got up the nerve to talk to her the week before homecoming.

Allie had been chatting with some of her friends when a shy voice behind her said, "Hey Allie. Can I talk to you?" Allie turned to see Adam and beamed at him.

"Sure," she said brightly as she followed him out into the brilliant late summer sunshine. They ended up under a wide oak tree just around the corner of the school out of sight.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go to the homecoming dance with me," Adam said, flushing bright red.

"Of course," Allie said with a wide grin. Adam grinned back. And then he kissed her. Of course that had to be when Soundwave pulled up. As they pulled apart, both flushed and smiling, Allie heard the sound of a door shutting. She glanced past Adam to see a man in his mid thirties with brown hair a shade darker than hers and red tinted sunglasses. Soundwave. Allie wasn't sure whether to swallow hard or glare. Adam turned, saw Soundwave, and paled. Then he saw Ravage just behind Allie's guardian and paled further. It only took a moment for him to turn and run.

"Thanks a lot," Allie snarled as Soundwave grabbed her arm and pulled her away. "You just cost me my date for the homecoming dance."

"You're not going anyway," Soundwave snapped back. Allie muttered curses in the backseat all the way back to the Decepticon base. The next day at school Adam formally retracted his invitation and Allie refused to associate with her guardian or Ravage for a week.


	19. Tallie and Allie Rules 96 to 105

Author's Note: Thank you to _Noella50881_, _Nitrofrost2_, _I am Blueberry_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, _Ripdtide2_, and _Meowmeow98_ for reviewing the last chapter! Rule 98 on Tallie's List and Rules 96 and 97 on Allie's List are from _Nitrofrost2_. Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie. The first two chapters of Fated will be uploaded in an hour or so after I go over them one more time

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 96:** No more listening to Harry Potter Puppet Pals: Mysterious Ticking Noise

(I think I scared Skids and Mudflap for life)

(Ratchet had to keep Wheeljack from making a pipe bomb)

(The soldiers and I were all laughing hysterically though)

**Rule 97:** Never replace Ironhide's ammo with silly string

(This was most definitely a _very bad idea_)

(I ended up with an angry Ratchet in the med bay for a week)

(Jazz was furious too...at Ironhide)

(We both ended up in the med bay after that)

**Rule 98:** Do not attempt anything the crocodile hunter did

(Epps and Fig this means you)

(And Fig I don't care if your momma cooks gators!)

**Rule 99:** No Halloween decorations

(Period)

(They kept coming out before Halloween)

(Lennox, Epps, and I burned all of them...)

**Rule 100:** We cannot have a moat!

(Twins!)

(Both sets!)

(No more castle documentaries)

**Rule 101:** The Scarlet Letter is banned

(The red A on my bedroom door was one step to far)

(I thought Jazz was going to kill 'Sides and Sunny...)

**Rule 102:** No more Stephan King

(This one is for most of the humans)

(I left Carrie out and every human eyed me strange for a week)

(However when I left 'Salem's Lot out Ratchet wanted to give me another mental health test)

(I passed again somehow)

**Rule 103:** No more playing "If I Die Young" anywhere near Prowl

(What is with him and glitching over stupid stuff?)

(I did it once by accident and then Jazz had to go make it an epidemic...)

(My guardian has a couple new dents in his helm courtesy of Ratchet)

**Rule 104: **Giving squirrels coffee doesn't make them move at super speed

(Even if it works on Hoodwinked)

(You hear me 'Sides, Sunny, Mudflap, and Skids?)

(Even Wheeljack knew better than that!)

**Rule 105: **Murphy's Law and Newton's Law are not the same thing

(Newton did gravity and Murphy's Law is about luck)

(Glitch Heads!)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 96:** Never run around screaming "He's gonna eat me!"

(Though the strange looks are totally worth it!)

(When Ravage hears you though you'd better run)

(It took Soundwave twenty minutes to calm Ravage down. I stayed near my guardian for the rest of the day)

**Rule 97:** No BB guns anywhere near base!

(You point it at a mech and they retaliate)

(I think I still have a scorch mark...)

**Rule 98: **Never compare Ravage with a real wild cat

(He takes offense)

(Especially when I pointed out that he sleeps more than most lions some days)

**Rule 99:** Never ever say "Make me"

(They can and they will)

(I almost slapped myself when I realized what I'd said)

**Rule 100:** No school dances

(supposedly it's too dangerous)

(I hate this rule!)

**Rule 101:** If the world is going to end you're on your own

(Because nobody is going to tell you)

(No one tells me anything!)

**Rule 102:** Dares are banned

(There was this time when I dared Skywarp to transform and land in the middle of a park in Iowa)

(The screaming was great)

(Soundwave looking like he was going to kill us both was not)

**Rule 103:** Land mines are an equal opportunity weapon

(Remember this Skywarp)

(It doesn't matter if you have a land mine if you don't remember where you put it!)

**Rule 104:** Taunt Megatron at your own risk

(Starscream this applies to you)

(And some days to me)

(Neither one of us can keep our mouths shut...)

**Rule 105:** Life isn't fair

(Get used to it)

(In other words get used to Autobots coming back from the dead and winning)


	20. Explanations 10

Author's Note: I'm baaack! Thanks to _I am Blueberry_, _ForeverDreamingGrace_, _Riptide2_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, _Nitrofrost2_,and _Transformers123124_ for reviewing the last chapter! Sorry for the short chapter and I'm hoping to post the next part of the list later today! Also there will only be two more list parts of this story and then I'm going to do requests for a few chapters after that so if you have a request you haven't seen yet or put in yet PM me and let me know. I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List-Rule 103<strong>_

_No more playing "If I Die Young" anywhere near Prowl_

Tallie had her laptop sitting in her lap with Grooveshark open as she worked on her homework. She wasn't really paying any attention to the songs, just enjoying the background noise, when Prowl came around the corner. Of course, as luck would have it, Tallie was singing the song lightly as she tried to think of a way to advance her English essay to make it three pages. Unfortunately the song happened to be "If I Die Young." Also as luck would have it Prowl ended up glitching. With an exasperated sigh Tallie went to inform Ratchet and then up to her room before someone else could hear her music and glitch.

She was so absorbed in finishing her English paper that she didn't even realize there was music playing over the loudspeaker until a massive thud nearly knocked her out of her bed. Abandoning the computer and English Tallie raced out of her room and stopped halfway down the steps to see Prowl lying on the ground and her guardian snickering. It took about ten seconds for her to figure out why. "If I Die Young" was coming through the speakers loud and clear, causing Prowl to glitch for the second time that day. Tallie face palmed and then went back to her room before she could get blamed for Prowl glitching a second time. "And they say _I'm_ the immature one," she mumbled as she went, making sure she was speaking soft enough the Jazz couldn't hear of course.

_**Allie's List-Rule 102**_

_Dares are banned_

Somehow after all the disasters they had caused Allie and Skywarp still ended up in Iowa. Maybe it was because it was Starscream and Soundwave they were supposed to be waiting for but it was probably because everyone just wanted them as far away as possible. Soundwave and Starscream had been gone for almost a month on a specialized mission from Megatron and their planned return was somewhere in Iowa. The fact that this little town was in the middle of nowhere meant that Allie was bored. Coincidentally so was Skywarp but on this particular day Allie's boredom would prove to be more dangerous than Skywarp's.

"He Skywarp," Allie said when they moved into the third hour of waiting.

"Huh?" the jet asked, not really paying attention to what was going on.

"I dare you to land in the middle of the park and transform," Allie said, the hint of a wicked smile curving on her lips. That caught Skywarp's attention.

"Only if I can blame it on you if we get in trouble," Skywarp replied immediately.

Allie thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "Why the heck not?" The people screaming because there was suddenly a giant alien robot in their park in the middle of Iowa was great. Soundwave looking as if he would have liked to kill both Allie and Skywarp wasn't. The best part of the prank was yet to come though. NEST trying to cover it up.


	21. Tallie and Allie Rules 106 to 115

Author's Note: Thanks to _Metarex_ for reviewing the last list section chapter (Sorry I missed listing you last chapter!) and _Noella50881_ for reviewing the last chapter! Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

* * *

><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 106:** Running around yelling "SABOTAGE" is not smart

(Funny? Yes. Smart? Definitely not.)

(Everyone spent the day having their rooms checked for explosives or Decepticon sigils)

**Rule 107:** Red paint looks surprisingly like blood

(Graduation pranks are awesome)

(Though Ratchet was not pleased with all the glitched mechs in the med bay)

(Girl Power!) [Me, Allie, and Mikaela that is]

**Rule 108: **Girls are emotionally unstable during their time of the month

(And I am a girl)

(Unlike other girls, however, I can shoot lightning bolts from my fingers)

**Rule 109: **If everyone is cheating then it isn't cheating anymore

(Yeah, don't ask)

(It's a long and confusing story)

(It's also Allie's logic and not mine)

**Rule 110:** That's all she wrote

(I found this painted in red letters on my door)

(After I told Jazz to stop treating me like a six year old)

(I shut up after that)

**Rule 111:** Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius

(We put this on the door of Wheeljack's lab)

(Allie and I that is)

(Mikaela refused to help with this one)

**Rule 112:** "Acid rain is going to turn to acid pain if you don't shut that book and listen to me!"

(Yes Allie...)

(My science final was brutal though)

**Rule 113:** "Our war has been going on much longer than your puny Earth wars."

("You'd think you would have figured out how to live in peace then")

(Ironhide was speechless)

(Optimus was snickering from a safe distance)

**Rule 114:** Never go swimming around certain immature alien robots

(They will decide to copy you)

(I was caught in a massive tidal wave by a certain mech's leap)

(_SIDESWIPE!)_

**Rule 115:** Two words; American Ride

(Yes the song points out the stupidity of humans)

(No it isn't logical)

(So stop listening before you glitch and get me in trouble Prowl!)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 106: **Don't let Decepticons anywhere near high grade!

(It really is the alcohol equivalent)

(What I saw in there...ugh)

(Let's just say I'm scared for life now)

**Rule 107:** Do not show fear, ever

(This applies pretty much completely to 'Cons)

(If you do they'll humiliate you)

(But if it's Starscream you can throw the crap right back to him!)

**Rule 108:** A suicide bomber is not a valid occupation

(The 'Cons would have got it)

(The 'Bots began to edge slowly away)

(I still passed the sanity test with high marks somehow...)

**Rule 109:** Yelling at Tallie when she has a textbook in hand is not a good idea

(She throws hard)

(And has remarkably good aim for an Autobot...)

(I have bruises to prove it!)

**Rule 110:** I am not the Wicked Witch of the West

(Tallie and I found out our parents were actually from Michigan)

(That's _North _people!)

(For giant alien robots you really don't know your directions)

**Rule 111:** Once again quoting Star Wars is banned

(Why does this always happen?)

Why you stuck up, half wit, scruffy looking Nerf herder! [Tallie to Galloway]

(Can you tell she was mad?)

"I hope you know what you're doing" "Yeah, me too" [Sideswipe to Lennox]

(Sideswipe looked rather worried after that)

You have your moments. Not many of them but you do have them [Me to Sunstreaker]

(He stopped admiring his paint job to stop a 'Con crushing me for betrayal)

How you doin' Chewbacca? Still hanging around this loser? [Me to Starscream in front of Megatron]

(I've never heard a battlefield so quiet...)

**Rule 112: **Never wear a shirt that says the following;

I'm crazy, got a problem with that? [Ratchet had me taking sanity tests again]

Be nice to America or we'll bring democracy to your country [Optimus and Lennox were not pleased. Epps on the other hand was laughing his head off]

Evil tends to triumph over good unless good is very, very sneaky [Red Alert has added me to the traitor's list]

(Yes I was a 'Con..._ONCE_)

**Rule 113:** Large dosages of sugar are not allowed

(Sam and his friends...)

(And too much candy)

(To be fair it was Halloween. To be unfair they lost me my gummy worms)

**Rule 114:** No more mentos and pop

(It was fine until we started aiming)

(Ratchet wasn't pleased with the number of sticky 'Bots suddenly running around)

(Sam, Mikaela, Tallie, Epps, Fig, and I were laughing hysterically though. Lennox was trying not to laugh)

**Rule 115:** Don't worry about the world ending... It's already tomorrow in Australia

(You guys all have internet access. How can you not understand that it's a different time in Australia)

(Charles Shulz is great though)


	22. Explanations 11

Author's Note: Thanks to _MissShelz_, _Mytical-Mist-Devil_, _I am Blueberry_, _Nitrofrost2_, _Transformers123124_, and my unnamed reviewer to reviewing the last chapter! Enjoy and I own nothing but Tallie and Allie

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><p><em><strong>Tallie's List- Rule 113<strong>_

_"Our war has been going on for much longer than your puny Earth wars"_

Tallie was getting ready for her history final, for once glad that her twin was busy helping Mikaela. She was halfway through studying what she needed to know about World War II when Ironhide came into the rec room. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking at the teen who was lying on the cement floor with her history book in front of her and a variety of papers spread out around her.

"Reviewing for my history final," Tallie said. "I'm almost halfway through World War II and it's only been-" She glanced up at the clock for a moment before looking back down at her book. "An hour and a half."

"You think that takes a long time to read over," Ironhide rumbled. "Our war has been going on for much longer than your puny Earth wars."

"You'd think you would have figured out how to live in peace then," Tallie said without looking up. She did look up when she got no response. She held in snickers when she saw the stunned look on Ironhide's faceplates and when she looked past him toward the door she saw Optimus Prime, regal leader of the Autobots, _was_ snickering, from a safe distance of course. "I mean we resolved World War II and pretty much every nation on the planet was involved," Tallie continued when Ironhide still didn't say anything. She was casually picking up her papers now, guessing that any moment now Ironhide was going to blow up. "I think it's just trigger happy mechs like you that keep the fighting going because you can't not shoot long enough for peace talks." That was when she saw Ironhide come back to reality.

"What did you say?" he asked, his voice dark.

"See ya later," Tallie called and quickly darted out of the room. By now Optimus was already long gone, knowing his weapons specialist's temper too well from years on Cybertron. "Hey Jazz," Tallie called to her guardian, history book safely tucked under one arm. He offered her his hand and she climbed on, settling comfortably on his shoulder. "Just so you know Ironhide's a bit annoyed right now," Tallie said just as they all heard the sounds of a massive clang and Optimus started laughing again.

"Tallie, sweetheart, " Jazz said tiredly, far too used to the antics of his charge by now. "Try not to annoy the weapons specialist next time." Tallie just laughed.

_**Allie's List-Rule 110**_

_I am not the Wicked Witch of the West_

Tallie and Allie were both sitting outside enjoying the sunshine. School had just released for the year and they had both graduated with above average marks, all A's in Tallie's case and mostly B's in Allie's. Now they were enjoying the warmth and their first day of summer. "Hey it's the Wicked Witch of the West," a voice suddenly called. Allie looked over her shoulder and then groaned when she saw Sideswipe. Suddenly what he had said sunk in.

"What do you mean the Wicked Witch of the West?" she snapped, jumping to her feet.

"Well it fits does it not?" Sideswipe asked with a self satisfied grin.

"It does _not _fit," Allie growled.

"Well why not?" Sideswipe asked, looking rather annoyed that what he thought of as a clever name was being shot down.

"First off our parents are from Michigan. For those of us here who are directionally challenged that's _NORTH_ and _EAST_ of here, not _WEST_!" Allie yelled at him. "And second of all I am not green!"

"All right, all right," Sideswipe said, backing off as Tallie snickered, her eyes sparkling with laughter. Allie sighed and plopped back down next to her twin as Sideswipe transformed and sped off. She had just calmed down when trouble arrived again; this time in the form of Mudflap and Skids.

"Hey man look," Skids called.

"Yeah," Mudflap said with a wide grin. "It's da Wicked Witch a da West."

"IDIOTS," Allie shrieked so loud it caused both of them to jump. They transformed with after making sounds somewhere in the eep family before speeding off. Allie turned to her twin, fuming, only to see Tallie laying on her back holding her stomach as she laughed.

"The movie last night was _The Wizard of Oz_," Tallie explained when she finally stopped laughing.

"Stupid alien robots and their fragging bad sense of direction," Allie muttered, lying back to stare at the white clouds above her. That started Tallie laughing again and Allie started laughing too, until the nickname showed up again. And stuck.


	23. Tallie and Allie Rules 116 to 125

Author's Note: Thanks to _MissShelz_, my anonymous reviewer, _JessMitchell_, _Riptide2_, _MistressBumblebee_, and _Transformers123124_ for reviewing the last chapter! This is the last chapter of rules and it should give you guys a good idea how Tallie and Allie have changed now. I'm working on a DOTM fic with the twins which should be up on Saturday so keep an eye out for that. I own nothing but Tallie and Allie. Enjoy

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><p><em>Tallie's List<em>

**Rule 116:** Everyone has a big but Simone

(Prowl you _cannot_ use this anymore)

(Ratchet has given us permission to make you glitch if you do!)

**Rule 117:** Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over!

(Actually Allie that was Skids and Mudflap)

(Ironically being chased by Ratchet)

(Wonders never cease)

**Rule 118:** Google it

(This is getting used way too much now)

(Yes they have internet access. No we do not want them on the 'net all day)

**Rule 119:** "There's an app for that"

(Sunny about defeating Decepticons)

("No actually there isn't."..."Really?")

(You seriously have to ask?)

**Rule 120: **Don't throw rocks at shiny objects

(Even if you are bored)

(There's a big chance that it's Sideswipe or Sunstreaker that you're throwing rocks at)

**Rule 121:** No asking questions about my occupation

(Because I may not be able to weld your aft to the wall but...)

(I can bury you in law papers in less than six minutes)

(The advantages of going to one of the best law schools in the country)

**Rule 122:** "That's what the humans are for"

(No Sides and Sunny.)

(We are not cannon fodder when the 'Cons arrive so you have time to prepare)

(PERIOD)

**Rule 123:** Don't tell Allie she can't sing

(No she can't)

(Yes she can still destroy you in about six ways _without_ weapons if you do)

**Rule 124:** No more curse word substitutes

(That doesn't mean you can say the actual word though!)

(Will started saying "Oh Sugar Plum Fairies." Everyone else did too)

(Prowl kept glitching)

**Rule 125:** No exterminating small creatures

(It was fine until Ironhide tried to shoot Mojo)

(Let's just say that Judy Witwicky is a very scary woman)

(...Seriously!)

_Allie's List_

**Rule 116: **"Go ahead. Make my day."

(I am no longer allowed to say this)

(Let's just say that our liaison quit after this)

**Rule 117:** "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

(Bee actually)

(He got the twins {Sideswipe and Sunstreaker} to shut up)

(After Ironhide failed no less!)

**Rule 118:** "You don't have a license to use that."

(Sideswipe referring to a rocket launcher)

(Actually I do)

(I'm technically Special Ops)

**Rule 119:** I am terrified of bees

(That doesn't mean you need to cure me of my fear)

(RATCHET)

(I have a perfectly good reason to be afraid; I'm allergic)

**Rule 120:** No more bouncy balls

(Mikaela and I covered the floor of the rec room with them)

(Everyone, and I mean _Everyone_, was slipping on them)

(It was funny until someone got hurt.)

(Then it was hysterical because it happened to be Jazz who _never_ falls)

**Rule 121:** "I demand my restitution!"

(Yeah, whatever Sunny)

(Fix your dang paint yourself)

(It's your fault its dinged anyway)

**Rule 122:** Whoever TP'd my house I will find you

(And pay you back!)

(Just saying...)

**Rule 123:** Cold rain is not an excuse to cause problems

(You're giant alien robots for Pete's sake!)

(Be tough for once in your insanely long lives)

**Rule 124:** I can and will kick your butt if you annoy me

(Jazz has been teaching me)

(And I lived with 'Cons for most my early life)

(Be afraid... be very afraid)

**Rule 125:** Smile...It confuses people

(Especially if you've had a very bad day)

(Which happens)

(Trust me...It really works)

_And Finally_

**Rule 126:** Don't do anything stupid

(Tallie: Why didn't we do this to _start_ with)

(Allie: No idea)

(Sideswipe: Because you weren't smart enough to think of it earlier)

(Tallie: HEY)

(Allie: I resent that!)


End file.
